A Visit Home to San Diego

The past few weeks in San Diego (Jenny) have been a whirlwind of an experience and a reminder ofTimelessness simultaneously. The journey took me from a plane ride in Victoria, BC, and my new found family at Querencia (Q) over the waters to Seattle. My seat-mate for the flight became my mentor in the short flight and reminded me of the Being that I had embodied during my short three-week adventure with Skye. “I see beauty in everything, you just have to look in the present moment,” the Grandma on her way to visit her children and grandchildren in Los Angeles agreed with my heartsong. I gifted her books at our passing during the border crossing.

During my next flight, a young woman from Arizona spoke of her dreams to open a bakery or a cafe, or both! The life of the 9-5 and seeing her boyfriends family in Seattle for his grandmother’s funeral was not what she was after. Having playfully imagined the feeling of owning a cafe the day before while walking from Downtown Victoria to Q had me reflecting back the same excitement for her vision, “You can do this!” I encouraged like a childhood friend. Sparked with a renewed validation, I handed her two books and walked her to her next plane.

From the flight that took me from Salt Lake City to San Diego, I sat next to two Christian men who had just been on business. “Ah, yes, silence,” I though to myself after having deep conversations with my previous female passengers. Within fifteen minutes post-small talk, we had all pulled out our books and were reading. I had shut my eyes when drinks were brought round, “Would you like anything?” the man sitting next to me asked (still grateful that I “fit nicely in my seat and not into his whatsoever,” true story). “I don’t need anything, but thank you. I appreciate your Valour in asking me regardless of my eyes being shut.” “Well, I figured I might as well take chance.” “Well, thank you for the chance. It was very gracious of you.” He beamed back.

I landed in San Diego and was happily greeted by my mother, an older version of me who was in-between clients as an MFT, a license she had received post her divorce to my father and shown my sister and I the strength to persevere. Each time I grow and expand, I see her more clearly, more deeply and I am grateful for the reflection. Our conversations since I have been home have brought up more patterns than I would have thought possible. She encourages me to act always in Integrity, holding me accountable to the highest of standards. She reminds me of what I can be, of what I am, and truly of my Perfection. “We’re discussing a pattern that we’ve talked about before, can we bring this conversation to a higher level and speak of creativity,” I have been asking, finding gentle ways to break through the barriers into a realm that she and I haven’t entered consciously before. “I am practicing speaking my needs and wants with others and using boundaries, would you care to join me?” “Yes, please! Let’s practice it together!” she says in return.

It was very shortly after I landed in my hometown that I saw the grave misconception I had experienced in my relationships with other people, with all of Life. Constantly over-giving, I suddenly saw my codependency and began to pull back little bits of my Self from my relating. During a conversation with my dear friend and mentor, I heard his needs for Aloneness and Solitude. “Yes, I see you doing that,” I encouraged. Before I would have felt compelled to help make the vision happen without having any idea of what I wanted or needed. Support. I’m great at support through encouragement, thanks to the reflection from my dear friend in Oregon.

I visited my friends at their Wellness Center on two separate occasions and caught up with their evolution and current state of Being. I saw Perfection and Honour at its highest frequency, adoring them wholeheartedly as if I were in Love. Because I am! I am in love with all of creation and its fascinating Beauty and Illumination in every corner that I turn. The Illuminescense that I see at the corner drive-through coffee shop compels me every time to continue on the path that I am on, the path of Self Love and the Love of Life. This is the reflection that I keep receiving and that becomes more clear as I release the Shadow of Codependence and choose to Gift myself the love of the Individual thereby embodying the deepest states of Interdependence possible.

In Love and Interdependence,

The Collective 

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